That's Not Art

Like Violence (via ache)

I wouldn’t recommend using the same tools. Try explaining to a woman exactly WHY you’re using a shotgun to tell her you love her. She’ll be really scared. And confused.

Truth Hurts (via insertname-here)

The truth doesn’t always hurt (example, when a woman says to me, “You’re a gorgeous man!”) and sometimes lies are much better (example, when a woman says to me, “I was talking to the guy behind you pal. Sorry. But you’re… well, you’re not hideous, I guess.”)

Tomorrow (via banananne)

Here’s a better plan: Don’t make ANY mistakes tomorrow. Why set your sights on mediocrity when you could try to actually have one good day this week when you don’t get yelled at by your boss or your ex-wife doesn’t call to tell you she still hasn’t received this month’s alimony check and she knows what game you’re playing and she doesn’t appreciate it.

Overdoing (via fueledbyphotos)

Not really. I mean, you don’t want to overdo having children, for instance, because then you’re stuck with 14 kids you can’t afford to feed. It gets really hard to explain your way out a police station the second or third time they find bones buried in your back yard. Trust me.

Broken (via whisperedwordsoncanvas)

This is a perfect example of trying too hard, in all aspects. First, the statement is really reaching for meaning and metaphor and cleverness. Second, without the IN YOUR FUCKING FACE literal background image, it would make even less sense.

Sure, it comes together to make a clear picture: You’re a broken piano but your amazing Mozart-like friend was still able to play that shit. But just think about that for a second… it could be taken positively (“I thought I was a piece of garbage but this guy still totally loved me!”), but it’s hard to ignore how clearly negative it is (“I’m a piece of garbage but this guy still totally had sex with me and then never called! It was a symphony! Of tears!”).

Take a Breath (via fueledbyphotos)

Here’s a little thing you might want to try enjoying: anti-aliasing. And seriously, is that Y really hanging off the frame? REALLY? This whole image is so piss-poor. Actually, scratch that—I would rather look at an image of someone pissing poorly than this. If you find an image of someone attempting to piss well but failing, send it to me and I’ll replace this one with that one.

Too Young to Die (via plasticteacups)

Tell that to a dead fetus. Or wait, I was originally going to respond with Tell that to my shotgun, but then I realized that could be taken as a threat, which I didn’t mean it to be. So I went with the fetus one, which, while it can’t be taken as a threat, it’s pretty harsh. Then again, tell that to a dead fetus.

Of View (via inspirart)

It’s good to have a of view? What on earth does that even mea—OH! Wait, I get it! The dot there is supposed to mean “point.” It’s good to have a “point” of view! HAHAHA! Amazing! So clever and unique!!! WOW!!!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! Wow.

Seriously, kill yourself.

See the Sun (via thelasthomerecording)

Hard not to, you know, unless you’re blind. In fact, I completely fail to take any meaning from this, even after trying very hard to get my mind into the state of ridiculous “things mean more than they seem” pseudo-artists. After 20 minutes of staring at this and thinking intensely, I’ve realized it actually has zero meaning. ZERO.

I Depend On (via littlemisspatricia)

Jesus, please, give us some kerning. Christ. Those Ts might as well be inside the Hs. God. Seriously. Kerning.